Well, butter my biscuit and tickle me silly! Roku with those autoplay ads, huh? Just a test, they say. Sounds like a test alright… a test to see how much crap people will swallow before they start throwing their remotes through the goddamn TV screen!
I mean, come on. I’ve been wrestling with technology since computers were the size of a damn Winnebago and used punch cards! Now, that was annoying. But even then, nobody was forcing advertisements down your throat before you even had a chance to pick what you wanted to watch.
I understand companies gotta make money. I also understand that if my wife starts seeing ads for enlargement surgeries (you know, for the yard, wink wink nudge nudge) every time she turns on the damn TV, I’m gonna be sleeping in the yard. And I do actually like those petunias she planted.
Honestly, though, I feel for Roku. They’re probably feeling the pinch with all these streaming services coming out the woodwork. Disney, Netflix, Hulu…it’s like a goddamn streaming orgy up in here, and everyone’s trying to get a piece of the action, if you know what I mean. Heh.
But still, this ain’t the way to do it. You’re driving folks away, Roku. Nobody wants to be ambushed by commercials before they even get settled on the couch with a cold beer and a bag of pork rinds. It’s like showing up to a dinner party and getting a used car sales pitch before you can even say hello.
Look, I get it. Tests are tests. Experiments are experiments. But you gotta be careful, Roku. You’re walking a thin goddamn line between paying the bills and becoming the digital equivalent of someone standing on a street corner yelling about the end of the world through a megaphone.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go check to see if my wife’s been Googling affordable divorce lawyers again. I suspect I’ve been talking too damn much, again.
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